D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
