I heard we made out
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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