Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
