Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
