we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
