i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We had sex on a dog bed..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize
