My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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