you guys were way drunker than both of me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
