u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
