We're facebook friends in real life
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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