I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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