Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
