East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
