we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
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I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.