so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE