Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

look no pants

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(973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078

Replies (4) Good night (1613) Bad night (552)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just cut my nipple shaving

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(902): I just cut my nipple shaving http://tfl.nu/31st

Replies (41) Good night (565) Bad night (4905)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.

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(630): Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for? (1-630): Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun. http://tfl.nu/9dkv

Replies (17) Good night (4097) Bad night (742)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries

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(703): I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries http://tfl.nu/pohi

Replies (17) Good night (4634) Bad night (1066)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.

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(808): Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger. http://tfl.nu/99q6

Replies (8) Good night (1450) Bad night (4150)
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(630): View more from Illinois

She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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(630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim

Replies (32) Good night (4116) Bad night (1898)
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(765): View more from Indiana

What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?

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(765): What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth? http://tfl.nu/fmc3

Replies (13) Good night (2800) Bad night (779)
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(424): View more from California

Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.

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(424): Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus. http://tfl.nu/3sel

Replies (10) Good night (2040) Bad night (753)
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(561): View more from Florida

Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.

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(561): Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry. http://tfl.nu/ip0u

Replies (9) Good night (535) Bad night (1362)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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(612): He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket. (1-651): It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm. http://tfl.nu/ei3h

Replies (8) Good night (2360) Bad night (372)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I wake up by myself then?

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(404): Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach? (1-404): At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place. (404): Why did I wake up by myself then? http://tfl.nu/82c4

Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (403)
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(714): View more from California

Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

(951): View more from California

Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

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(714): Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate. (951): Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day. http://tfl.nu/xq5q

Replies (5) Good night (1247) Bad night (325)
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(425): View more from Washington

Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me

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(425): Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me http://tfl.nu/wcm8

Replies (2) Good night (583) Bad night (259)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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(231): Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool. http://tfl.nu/mwvh

Replies (13) Good night (351) Bad night (660)
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(314): View more from Missouri

You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.

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(314): You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick. http://tfl.nu/dywr

Replies (1) Good night (904) Bad night (287)

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