Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(706): View more from Georgia

oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

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(810): View more from Michigan

I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.

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(538): View more from

Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy

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