Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.

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  (781): they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories. http://tfl.nu/7ndb
  Replies (4) Good night (1213) Bad night (381)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes

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  (614): If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes http://tfl.nu/ijgu
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (3155)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?

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  (972): Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life? http://tfl.nu/jl0s
  Replies (34) Good night (3164) Bad night (865)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night

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  (201): i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night http://tfl.nu/v4yn
  Replies (73) Good night (1205) Bad night (12812)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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  (586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx
  Replies (18) Good night (795) Bad night (5459)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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  (219): Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role http://tfl.nu/5zob
  Replies (14) Good night (884) Bad night (3978)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well

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  (812): Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well http://tfl.nu/2njp
  Replies (9) Good night (3647) Bad night (1073)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you

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  (414): There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you http://tfl.nu/ku1m
  Replies (19) Good night (4625) Bad night (1078)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?

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  (318): He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer? http://tfl.nu/zjcd
  Replies (11) Good night (3567) Bad night (1268)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.

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  (815): we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod. http://tfl.nu/j49l
  Replies (7) Good night (2972) Bad night (1029)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever

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  (781): Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever http://tfl.nu/l0sc
  Replies (7) Good night (2057) Bad night (915)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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  (828): Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes. http://tfl.nu/k70t
  Replies (9) Good night (1608) Bad night (1237)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I have dibs on his crisis of faith.

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  (419): I have dibs on his crisis of faith. http://tfl.nu/qzr2
  Replies (1) Good night (812) Bad night (366)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (309) Bad night (840)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married

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  (608): I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married http://tfl.nu/jbyv
  Replies (4) Good night (555) Bad night (209)

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