Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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