I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
