It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
