i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Holy shit dude........stairs
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
