Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
