New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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