so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Randomize
