we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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