I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Randomize
