I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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