i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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