I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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