youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
