he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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