where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
