My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
