Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love you. Go after that dick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
