I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
