If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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