you would pick up someone in the library
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
