toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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