I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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