I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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