Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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