I am full of burrito and curiosity
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
