5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
