Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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