I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
