Michael Bay diarrhea
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
