My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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