Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
