So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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