some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
