Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
