I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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