I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
