I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
