True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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