I heard we made out
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can text with my tongue
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
