Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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