i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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