In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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