Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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