I think I am morally bankrupt
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
