We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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